Starring Gerard Butler, Jennifer Aniston, Christine Baransky, and Dorian Missick. Directed by Andy Tennant
I imagine that in Hollywood there's a real-life IMF (Impossible Missions Force). No, they don't quell rebellions or sneak defectors out of countries; they're job is to take implausible ideas that make no sense whatsoever, get a half-baked script, assign A-list (sometimes B) talent to the project, flood it with money and market the hell out of it. This highly-skilled covert Studio ops group are responsible for such things as making John Wayne look like a Mongol and Charlton Heston like a Mexican, greenlighting the career of M. Night Shyamalan, letting Arnold Schwarzenegger become pregnant in a movie, convincing us that Dane Cook is funny, and making action stars (like Ewan McGregor and Gerard Butler) into romantic leads. I think a conspiracy is afoot.
The movie opens and we're introduced to Nicole Hurley (Aniston) and Milo Boyd (Butler). Milo's sky-blue Cutlass is on fire from the trunk. He pulls over and stops, running to the back. Opening the trunk lid Nicole is waving a flare, kicks him in the groin, and runs out into a field. Milo immediately follows chase and tackles her the the ground. We find out that they are ex-husband and wife.
Then, we're treated to see what happened in the twenty-four hours before that occurred. Enter Milo Boyd, alcoholic bounty hunter on a job. His target: a guy in an Uncle Sam costume on stilts. What Milo doesn't know is that he's being tracked by Dwight (Joel Garland), son of a bookie to whom Milo is $11,000 in the red. After a chase through a building and a float accidentally being set on fire, Milo captures his man but is taken in by police as well. He's bailed out by his friend Bobby (Missick) who tells him that he should get over the divorce from his wife and not drink his life away.
Enter journalist/reporter Nicole Hurley, the only hot female on staff for her paper. Lovelorn loser Stewart (Jason Sudeikis) had a makeout session with her once at an office Christmas party when she was four sheets to the wind and thinks that they have something. She's late for a court hearing because of a “traffic accident” (she side-swiped a police horse). When info on the suicide of a NYPD officer calls her to a location and time, she doesn't show up at all. A bench warrant is issued for her arrest...
Which is convenient because the warrant is for $50,000. Sid (Jeff Garlin) promises Milo $5,000 if he can arrest his ex-wife and haul her to jail, which Milo is more than happy to do. Milo contacts his ex-mother-in-law Kitty (Baranski) who tips him off to the fact that she may be at the track. He intercepts her there and tries bringing her in.
Complications arise with the fact that Jimmy, the guy she was going to meet who had info on the police suicide, is kidnapped by a police officer/thug named Earl Mahler (Peter Greene) who is trying to keep everything a secret. Earl goes after Milo and Nicole to kill them both, keeping Jimmy locked in a closet at a tattoo parlor.
A few chuckles ensue as Milo and Nicole hate each other but have to keep each other alive as they avoid Dwight and Ray (sent by Irene, the bookie), Earl Mahler, and Stewart. Needless to say, plot problems and holes abound.
Sometimes I find myself asking, “Where did this movie go wrong?” and you can see from a distance the scene or point in time that everything went south. This is a movie in which you ask yourself, “Did anything in here go right?” Maybe I'm trying to hold a romantic comedy to a certain bar, but it's the same bar I use for everything else. A movie should have a sense of accountability, not shrug it's shoulder and be let off with a warning because it's a rom-com.
That being said the main problem with this film is the story and its presentation. Both suck. The story was aiming to be like “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” but lacked the cool satire or even characters (or actors) that had chemistry with one another. Getting a $50,000 bench warrant for side-swiping an NYPD horse? Isn't that extreme? Maybe it's because of the cost of living... In a scene where an SUV is trying to push Milo's Cutlass off the road, the SUV flips even though a) there's no reason for it to flip and b) the guy who is driving it can fire a weapon and drive at the same time in an enclosed space, which takes some doing. I'm just saying...
And the characters were dumb a lot of times. Milo talks a good game a good chunk of the time but he's no Duane Chapman (and this is from a guy who isn't a fan). On a technical level he makes some bone-headed mistakes. Nicole does her fair share, too; in one scene they're trying to avoid being killed by the police officer/thug/assassin and she's walking on a concrete floor with high-heeled shoes. Smart.
This was the type of movie that a more-skilled director, like Guy Ritchie perhaps, could've done something with. Characters seemed to spout out lines that they didn't feel comfortable in saying. Every time a plot point occurred I was looking for some guy on the far left or right to be pointing at a white sign that would say “This is what should be happening now.” It was so shoddily half-baked I almost expected a boom mic to fall into view at any moment. The shoot-out scene I mentioned above was so short and anti-climatic I wondered why they bothered having it at all.
A good bit of the problem (and what you really wanna know about) is the real question: do Aniston and Butler work well together? Well, “Gone With the Wind” it ain't. Butler is a character actor and does well doing just that: portraying a character. Aniston plays Aniston playing whatever. These two worlds are like oil and water. For the first two-thirds of the film both of them barely look at another, as if they were forced to be on some blind date and a camera crew is taping them. After Aniston has a cry she's “magically” into Butler and the rest runs fairly smoothly.
One final stake in the heart of this review is the music. The soundtrack pieces were okay and enjoyable; the incidental score seemed to “force” a feeling so much that a blind person could tell what was going on. “Are they creeping around in a dangerous place? 'Cause that's what the music sounds like.”
Final thoughts? I could not even recommend this over watching “Dog, the Bounty Hunter.”
TV and film actor Fess Parker passed away on Thursday, March 18, 2010. Parker is best remembered as playing both frontier heroes Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone on television. Born Fess Elisha Parker, Jr. in 1924 in Fort Worth, TX, Parker grew up and later attended the University of Texas where he was a college athlete until a near-fatal accident in 1946 diverted him away from playing football. He began studying drama and was discovered by actor Adolphe Menjou who recommended him to his manager. Parker's first credited role was in 1952's “Untamed Frontier.” After Walt Disney saw him in the movie “Them!” he cast Parker as Davy Crockett. With his six-foot-six-inch stature he was a hit and soon kids were getting their parents to buy Davy Crockett coonskin caps, lunchboxes, etc. In 1957 he starred as Jim Coates, the father of Travis Coates whose faithful dog was “Old Yeller.” From 1964-1970 Fess played the other frontiersman, Daniel Boone. After the “Fess Parker Show” in 1974 Parker quit Hollywood and went into real estate and soon after opened a vineyard. Fess died of natural causes. He was 85 years of age.
Gosh, I really did not realize that Fess Parker was still living in 2010. I saw that stupid sci-fi movie "Them!" I was VERY young. May have seen it at the old Airway Theater. The creatures scared me so badly (humongous ants?) that I don't even remember the humans that were in the movie. --Wasn't Parker once involved in grand plan to open a frontier amusement park up around where the Kentucky Speedway is, in the Sparta area? Anyway, as a youngster I sure thought I looked super-cool in my coonskin cap.
I never saw DAvy Crockett growing up. The few classic frontier pictures I did see were from my time spent in a psychiatric hospital. A family gets stranded with their wagon and caravan, they meet a kind stranger, the stranger takes to the oldest daughter, then is gone the next day, and the daughter decides that she's in love. I respectfully wish Mr. Parker's family all my hopes and prayers. And for Mr. Parker, rest in peace Davy Crockett "Kind of the Wild Frontier".
Don't know what is age was in this pic,but WOW,How ruggedly handsome!!Loved his show when growing up,very entertaining and no-one was using foul language or full of sexual content! WHERE and WHY are those days gone. NOW were having orgasims in the shower as we wash our hair!! No WONDER r youngsters have gone WILD!!
I think Simply-Donna was commenting on the family-friendly shows that were produced back then - and I agree with her.
Just this past week we've been reminded by deaths (Merlin Olson of Little House and now Fess Parker) of a more innocent time when we could turn televisions on with our children and not have to worry about what they saw or heard.
I used to love Daniel Boone - although I was amused at seeing pictures of snow-capped mountains in Kentucky. lol
No doubt it was filmed out west and I'm sure the series was not very historically accurate - it was still some good clean adventure entertainment that prompted kids to get outdoors and pretend and use their imagination.
"Da-vey, Davey Crockett...King of the wild frontier...born on a mountain top in Tennessee..."
This song introduced the Disney Show and was a #1 hit. Every kid on my street had a coonskin cap and worshiped "ole Davey". Sad to see him go.
Film Guy at LouisvilleMojo here with the rundown for this March 19-21 weekend should you choose to hang out at Stonybrook, Baxter, Village 8, Tinseltown, or any others.
This Weekend:
“Bounty Hunter” – A bounty hunter (Gerard Butler) has to retrieve his ex-wife (Jennifer Aniston) who has skipped bail. No doubt romance and hilarity will ensue…
“Diary of a Wimpy Kid” – Based on the childrens book, it follows middle school student Greg Heffley over the course of an academic year. Stars Steve Zahn.
“Repo Men” – Following all the previous genetic “repo” movies, this one follows a man (Jude Law) who is one of the best repo men in the biz and finds that he's a payment or two behind.
For Your Indie/Art-house Consideration:
“That Evening Sun” – Abner Meecham, an aging Tennessee farmer discarded to a nursing facility by his lawyer son, flees the old folks home and catches a ride back to his country farm to live out his days in peace. Upon his return, he discovers that his son has leased the farm to an old enemy and his family. (Yahoo! Movies)
The Rundown: “Bounty Hunter” I'll be seeing tonight, so watch for my review of it tomorrow. Rotten Tomatoes has given it 8% on the Tomatometer…
“Diary of a Wimpy Kid.” I imagine kids will drag their parents to this one, it being based on a popular kids book and all about a kid who makes snarky comments about what he doesn't like in school. What passes for literature these days…
“Repo Men” is the one I really want to see this weekend. Jude Law. Forest Whitaker. Sci-fi. Unfortunately it's not doing much better than “Bounty Hunter” on the Tomatometer -13%. This is shaping up to be a bad weekend…
There you have it: “Bounty Hunter” and “Repo Men.” But both will probably suck.
Film and television actor Peter Graves passed away Sunday, March 14, 2010. Graves was born Peter Aurness in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1926. By the age of 16 he became a radio announcer and after spending two years in the Air Force, studied drama at the University of Minnesota before moving to Hollywood. He made his film debut in “Rogue River” in 1951 before being in Billy Wilder's “Stalag 17.” Switching between films and appearing on television he became renown for playing Jim Phelps in “Mission: Impossible.” Graves would go on to play Captain Clarence Oveur, the pilot in “Airplane!” In later years he had a small part in the “Mission: Impossible” revival series and as host of “Biography.” Graves died of a heart attack outside of his L.A. home. He was 83 years of age.
When both Mission Impossible & the very long-running Gunsmoke were airing simultaneously, I was really surprised to learn that Graves & James Arness were BROTHERS. But it didn't take long for me to see some similarities. Yet when news of his death was announced on national TV, the reporter said that the PUBLIC DIDN'T KNOW that Arness & Graves were brothers. Seems the REPORTER didn't know what the public knew.
Building a (contrived/convoluted) mystery...
TV and film actor Fess Parker passed away on Thursday, March 18, 2010. Parker is best remembered as playing both frontier heroes Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone on television. Born Fess Elisha Parker, Jr. in 1924 in Fort Worth, TX, Parker grew up and later attended the University of Texas where he was a college athlete until a near-fatal accident in 1946 diverted him away from playing football. He began studying drama and was discovered by actor Adolphe Menjou who recommended him to his manager. Parker's first credited role was in 1952's “Untamed Frontier.” After Walt Disney saw him in the movie “Them!” he cast Parker as Davy Crockett. With his six-foot-six-inch stature he was a hit and soon kids were getting their parents to buy Davy Crockett coonskin caps, lunchboxes, etc. In 1957 he starred as Jim Coates, the father of Travis Coates whose faithful dog was “Old Yeller.” From 1964-1970 Fess played the other frontiersman, Daniel Boone. After the “Fess Parker Show” in 1974 Parker quit Hollywood and went into real estate and soon after opened a vineyard. Fess died of natural causes. He was 85 years of age.
Film Guy at LouisvilleMojo here with the rundown for this March 19-21 weekend should you choose to hang out at Stonybrook, Baxter, Village 8, Tinseltown, or any others.
Film and television actor Peter Graves passed away Sunday, March 14, 2010. Graves was born Peter Aurness in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1926. By the age of 16 he became a radio announcer and after spending two years in the Air Force, studied drama at the University of Minnesota before moving to Hollywood. He made his film debut in “Rogue River” in 1951 before being in Billy Wilder's “Stalag 17.” Switching between films and appearing on television he became renown for playing Jim Phelps in “Mission: Impossible.” Graves would go on to play Captain Clarence Oveur, the pilot in “Airplane!” In later years he had a small part in the “Mission: Impossible” revival series and as host of “Biography.” Graves died of a heart attack outside of his L.A. home. He was 83 years of age.
Film Guy