A few weeks ago, I received news of an acquaintance who had ended her life. I was stunned. This is someone whom I did not know well, and unfortunately had lost contact with over time, but the blow was crippling just the same. Especially since this had been the third person in my life since last July to have done so.
These people who are completely unrelated to each other in any way shape or form, finding themselves in such a place as to not only contemplate this, but to go through with it boggles my mind. I'll be honest in confessing that the thought had ran through my mind a time or two since I've been living this incarnation, but had never had a thought of taking hold. Is it that I love life too much or that I'm chickenshit? Maybe it's that my time here is nowhere near complete and I have things to accomplish. Whatever the reason is, I still can't comprehend why someone would just go and do it. I know the world grows a bit darker with each passing, especially folks who I knew to bring so much light with them.
Blazing stars, each of them, leaving an indelible impression upon the sky that I look up to, an indelible impression on my heart and soul as well. I remember while reconnecting with mutual friends that they better fucking live forever, and I think I'm sticking to that thought. I fucking hate funerals, and fucking hate to say goodbye. Anyway, as we fade from this year's Samhain and continue on in the dark to the return of the Sun God, the return of the light or for my Christian readers and friends, the return of the Son of God and The Light, I pray each of you finds rest, and in my prayers and song, this goes out to each of you, P.V., A.F. and T.O...
The lyrics while not exact, say quite a bit and it's quite the beautiful song as well. And for those who worry about my writing, I remind them of a simple but important phrase...
"... and miles to go before I sleep". I'm here for the long haul, even though I might not understand that haul all the time, I'm in it until it's complete.
My thoughts on life and the insanity therein. Sometimes uplifting and inspiring, sometimes filled with rage or sorrow. Regardless, it is what I feel, who I am.
kydruid